Is Your Divorce Truly Uncontested?

The tip of the iceberg

Often times potential clients inquiring about my service are under the impression that if both parties want the divorce, then the case is uncontested. While a mutual desire to divorce is an essential requirement, it's really only the tip of the iceberg. "We both want this over with" is a fine starting point - it's just not the finish line, and the distance between the two is where a lot of would-be uncontested cases quietly fall apart.

What must actually be agreed upon

The short answer: everything. For your case to be truly uncontested, you and your spouse must have an agreement as to who gets which assets, who is responsible for which debts, and - if there are children - custody, the Parenting Plan schedule, and child support. Maintenance (otherwise known as alimony or spousal support) must be addressed one way or the other, even if the answer is that both parties waive it. Every account, every vehicle, every retirement plan, the house, the tax refund, the dog. If a Judge could be asked to decide it, you and your spouse need to have already decided it.

How about an example for clarity? Say Husband and Wife agree that they both want the divorce, agree on the house, agree on the cars, and agree on the credit cards - but Wife thinks Husband's 401(k) is his and Husband thinks a portion of it should offset the equity Wife is keeping in the house. That case is not uncontested. It's 95% uncontested, which, for filing purposes, is the same as 0% - the paperwork requires a complete Settlement Agreement, not a mostly complete one.

The "ready, willing and able" test

Here's the test I give every caller: both parties must be ready, willing and able to sign the paperwork. Not "my spouse will probably come around," not "she said she'd sign if the terms are fair," not "he'll sign once he calms down." I tell clients straight up - if you do not know that your spouse will sign, then do not waste your money on me. The good news is that most people know exactly which category they're in; the trouble only comes from talking yourself into the optimistic answer.

What if we're close, but not quite there?

Keep talking. Genuinely - that's the legal advice, such as it is. The couples who show up at my office with a complete agreement didn't get it by luck; they got it by having a few uncomfortable, practical conversations before involving lawyers. If you're stuck on a particular issue, it's worth working through the Missouri Uncontested Divorce Checklists, which walk through every issue that needs resolving, with examples of how those issues are commonly handled. Many "we can't agree" situations are really "we haven't talked about it specifically enough" situations.

And if the disagreement is real and immovable - that's what contested divorce attorneys are for, and you should hire a good one. No hard feelings; I'll be here if the two of you work it out.

To recap:

• Both spouses wanting the divorce is necessary, but nowhere near sufficient.
• Uncontested means agreement on everything: assets, debts, custody, child support, and maintenance.
• Both parties must be ready, willing and able to sign - "probably" doesn't count.
• Close-but-not-quite cases are usually solved by more specific conversations, not by courtrooms.

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to contact me for more information.